How Can I Change? Accountability

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Part of the “How Can I Change?” series. See part one here. See part two here.

Accountability (Gal 6:1-2)

“1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

 

What is the passage saying?

1. The believer is to:

A. Restore the broken (1). Restore means “to cause to be in a condition to function well, put in order. Restore to a former condition, put to rights” (BDAG). When Jesus was selecting his disciples he found them “restoring” their nets (Matt 4:21). They had to mend them in order to be able to use them again.

Once, while playing racquetball with a friend, our game was interrupted by the dislocation of my opponent’s knee. I still believe it was an act of saving himself the embarrassment of losing to me, but he claims it was not. After many attempts to deal with it, I was finally able to pop it into place. Upon which, I promptly dropped his leg and let it bounce off a hard surface. It was a disturbing moment. We had to set it. We had to mend the problem.

Those who have been caught in a transgression are often the ones who are immediately executed by our words, gossip, or pity. We see them as “damaged” and either deserving of a shocked and horrified reaction or a patronizing shake of the head and abandonment.

Restoring means we pick them up and point them to the healer of souls (Matt 11:28-30).

B. Carry the burden (2). I have two options when I am dealing with someone who is broken. I can heap more weights onto their back (remember the Pharisees in Matt 23?), or I can begin to shoulder their present burden.

I carry the burden of others by entering into their life and helping them along. This is done by pointing them to Jesus (Isa 53:4).

2. The believer needs:

A. Others to restore them when they sin (Jas 3:2)

B. Others to bear their burdens (1 Thess 5:14)

 

How is it connected to grace?

You and I need grace to help others. We are not naturally inclined to restore those who are broken, especially not those who have sinned against us. We are also not inclined to carry the burdens of others rather than focusing on our own concerns.

We also need grace to receive that ministry. We don’t want to ask others for help. We don’t want others to know us deeply. That takes God’s grace.

 

What will it look like in my life? (How does that actually help me change?)

Example: You have a friend who wants to meet with you some afternoon after school. You sit down at the coffee shop and begin to talk. This friends opens up to about a consistent struggle with sinful behavior they have been having for awhile. They unload on you, expressing their heart and desire to be rid of this yet not knowing where to go. At this point your friend breaks down and begins to question whether they really should have said all that.

What do you do? Here are some steps you can take:

  • Listen
  • Pray with them and for them
  • Point them to the cross
  • You establish a plan
  • You follow up
  • Seek help if necessary

But what if that is you hiding away this consistent struggle with sin? What do you do?

  • Think of someone who you know.
  • Who is a believer
  • Who is mature
  • Who you can trust
  • Make an appointment to talk with them

 

Homework

  • What is the sinful pattern in your life that needs to change?
  • Who do you trust with helping you with this struggle? Have you talked to them? Do you need to confess a “self-sufficient” attitude?
  • Are you helping someone else in their struggle? Are you consistent? What can you do to help them this week?
  • Read Prov 27:17 and then write out a prayer to God for the friend you are seeking to sharpen, and for a friend who would sharpen you.

More Reading:

Challies, Tim. “How to Make Accountability Work.”

Knapp, Jackie. “How to Counsel as a Friend.”

Lambert, Heath. “Using Accountability to Fight Pornography.” In Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace, 45–58. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2013.

Lutzer, Erwin W. “The Intercession of Christ and Believers.” In Getting to No: How to Break a Stubborn Habit, 129–140. Colorado Springs: David C Cook, 2007.