Last week I shared that I passed the first of two tests, narrowly, no thanks to tricky questions about carrying gods in the trunk of my car. This week I would like everyone to know that I passed the second and final test! In the words of our Spanish tutor on her practical test, it was “algo divino.”
The second test is the practical, the “behind-the-wheel…of-doom”. I did a couple weeks of behind the wheel, and then multiple sessions behind the person behind the wheel. I was the quintessential backseat driver as I listened to the driving instructor walk other newbies through the intricate maneuvers of parallel parking in a spot the size of a tuna can.
Since it was frowned upon to live tweet my experiences through my practical exam, I tried to note a few things down in my journal as I sat behind other drivers, or after I finished my hour behind the wheel. Here are some excerpts from my journal.
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Taking drivers lessons again is like having someone teach you how to brush your teeth.
- Faster!
- SLOWER!
- Careful.
- Good job!
- you are going to hurt yourself.
- You are a natural
- What are you doing?!
- If you don’t do this correctly you are going to regret it.
- You need more practice.
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Student driving is the perfect time to practice my combat breathing techniques.
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The driving exams in Spain are just updates on the Inquisition’s best torture devices.
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I want to see a movie where Morgan Freeman tries to hijack a car with a student driver.
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About to take my practical driving test here in Spain. I did this once in the USA about 15 years ago but I still am nervous. I actually just googled, “Volkswagen turn signals” because I forgot which side of the steering wheel they are on. I’m a wreck. Oops. Bad imagery.
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My driver instructor may or may not have kept up a running conversation with the examiner in order to distract him from the mistakes I was making.
The final outcome is that I have my license (well, theoretically. I have to wait for a card) and all those poor chaps that nearly lost their lives on the crosswalks are learning to walk with their heads up.