Dear Mr. Prime Minister of Spain,
It has been some time since our last written correspondence, but I would like to bring to your attention a couple of items which are of grave importance. I apologize that you have had to wait for these urgent concerns, but I have been quite busy lately. I know you spent many evenings bent over your computer screen, waiting for the notification of a new message from me, but I really must insist that you put more confidence in your own ability to direct the affairs of state without my help at every turn. Nevertheless, I hope these two items will give you something to work on over the next few weeks.
Parking spaces: Why do we have such small parking spaces in Spain? We are not hobbits, nor do we drive vehicles built for hobbits. Why then must all parking spaces be sized slightly smaller than a refrigerator box? Everyone else’s paint job will thank you if you widen them for me.
Bathroom lighting: Why do we insist on placing the light switches on the outside of the bathroom doors? We have junior highers here, right? Is there some back story behind why we can wait to turn on the light once inside the room for every other room in the home, except for the bathroom? Is there a safety hazard with allowing the occupant to be in control of the illumination?

And while we are at it, is it really necessary to set the automatic lights in public restrooms to under 5 seconds? I don’t know anyone who is in and out of the restroom in the amount of time given. I would have to argue that staggering around in the dark, running your hands over the bathroom walls looking for the activation sensor, is not necessarily hygienic. I could be wrong, but there is a possibility it would be frowned upon by the World Health Organization. Just a thought.
I trust your family is doing well you were able to resolve the issue with your cat and the neighbor’s parakeet. I completely agree that sometimes these things just escalate. Hopefully this next week will have fewer “complications!”
Your friend,

Seth